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Monday 18 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML

#20515001
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32615) - you deserved it (2432)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

#20515174
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32470) - you deserved it (4650)

On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of almost six years asked me to move in with him. I assumed he meant that he was finally moving out of his parents' house and had found a place for us to live. No, it turns out he means he wants me to move in with him at his parents' place. FML

#20519650
78 comments

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32421) - you deserved it (3095)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

#20518703
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32328) - you deserved it (4049)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

#20521664
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32276) - you deserved it (8096)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32253) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

#20517490
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32032) - you deserved it (3950)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, while at work, my ex-boyfriend came in. I pretended not to see him, hoping he would just pass on by. No such luck. He stopped to tell me that he was there for orientation. My company hired him. FML

#20519937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31847) - you deserved it (2935)

On 02/24/2013 at 8:56am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML

#20516708
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31716) - you deserved it (5328)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (3470)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML

#20518765
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31239) - you deserved it (1966)

On 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Aluksnes)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31166) - you deserved it (3274)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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