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Monday 18 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

#20515174
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (3245)

On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

#20516248
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25638) - you deserved it (1369)

On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (2911)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost six years asked me to move in with him. I assumed he meant that he was finally moving out of his parents' house and had found a place for us to live. No, it turns out he means he wants me to move in with him at his parents' place. FML

#20519650
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25518) - you deserved it (3768)

On 02/24/2013 at 12:48am - love - by great_just_great (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25517) - you deserved it (2195)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML

#20518765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25492) - you deserved it (1583)

On 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Aluksnes)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25450) - you deserved it (2280)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

#20521664
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25388) - you deserved it (5909)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML

#20514871
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24902) - you deserved it (2043)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (2092)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at work, my ex-boyfriend came in. I pretended not to see him, hoping he would just pass on by. No such luck. He stopped to tell me that he was there for orientation. My company hired him. FML

#20519937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24478) - you deserved it (1868)

On 02/24/2013 at 8:56am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML

#20516708
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (3744)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML

#20517316
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24282) - you deserved it (2195)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by PoorMe - United States



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Monday 20 May 2013

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