Sunday 17 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23459) - you deserved it (2553)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (3856)
On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23376) - you deserved it (2414)
On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)
Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (1712)
On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23088) - you deserved it (1910)
On 02/13/2013 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (4562)
On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)
Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23056) - you deserved it (3354)
On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22960) - you deserved it (4917)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States
Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (5394)
On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22750) - you deserved it (2503)
On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22752) - you deserved it (4203)
On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)
Today, a guy wolf-whistled me as I walked to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup and my hair scraped back. Feeling rather pleased about it, I told my best friend and my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22741) - you deserved it (3472)
On 02/17/2013 at 5:20am - misc - by bananamontana85 - United Kingdom (Wigan)
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22659) - you deserved it (4253)
On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
