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Saturday 16 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML

#20503854
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26211) - you deserved it (6197)

On 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm - animals - by Doggotmytongue - United States (Illinois)

Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

#20503939
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26103) - you deserved it (2697)

On 02/12/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by likearacehorse (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got locked out of my car for an hour in frigid weather at a busy gas station. Every time I tried to use the key, the alarm went off and the locks wouldn't work. The car company claims they've never heard of this happening. I just bought it last week after taking out a 5 year loan. FML

#20513495
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26049) - you deserved it (2335)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mum got the idea of switching to a different dishwashing detergent. The new one is so strong that it coats all the dishes in a nauseating perfume-like smell. It's so pungent that it gets absorbed into everything we eat or drink. She's determined to use up the entire bottle. FML

#20508218
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25894) - you deserved it (2066)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:50pm - health - by selena5112 (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML

#20514789
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25745) - you deserved it (7636)

On 02/20/2013 at 11:36am - work - by Apparently not a writer (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML

#20512675
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25589) - you deserved it (5787)

On 02/18/2013 at 8:49pm - work - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25199) - you deserved it (2911)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24788) - you deserved it (7276)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24289) - you deserved it (9645)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML

#20510258
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23758) - you deserved it (19449)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML

#20516690
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (3060)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:21pm - health - by NewDrugs (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML

#20514672
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23528) - you deserved it (7741)

On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML

#20503278
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23251) - you deserved it (2626)

On 02/12/2013 at 2:41am - health - by shots shots shots (woman) - United States (California)



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