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Saturday 16 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36984) - you deserved it (4163)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

#20518576
157 comments

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML

Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML

#20507764
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36629) - you deserved it (3650)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

#20508609
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36404) - you deserved it (3465)

On 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML

#20513141
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36399) - you deserved it (4089)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

#20518411
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36355) - you deserved it (6166)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36204) - you deserved it (4858)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML

#20519321
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35734) - you deserved it (2339)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

#20511268
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35731) - you deserved it (2607)

On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

#20506765
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35558) - you deserved it (2231)

On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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