Thursday 14 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19130) - you deserved it (2403)
On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)
Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19019) - you deserved it (1925)
On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States
Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18701) - you deserved it (5855)
On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to what was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18127) - you deserved it (5016)
On 02/20/2013 at 1:33am - work - by MeanGina (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17586) - you deserved it (13522)
On 02/17/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17354) - you deserved it (1814)
On 02/12/2013 at 2:41am - health - by shots shots shots (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17182) - you deserved it (9990)
On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14502) - you deserved it (44933)
On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13202) - you deserved it (19191)
On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12917) - you deserved it (37732)
On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11828) - you deserved it (32312)
On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States
Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11553) - you deserved it (30268)
On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9871) - you deserved it (21365)
On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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