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Thursday 14 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28632) - you deserved it (6009)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

#20503744
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28502) - you deserved it (3894)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after being together for only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership for my birthday in a card that said, "So u can b hott! Luv u!" FML

#20513755
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28499) - you deserved it (5525)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

#20506625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28386) - you deserved it (3349)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (5692)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28179) - you deserved it (8095)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27908) - you deserved it (3215)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

#20503655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (2897)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

#20506101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26945) - you deserved it (11354)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today, a guy wolf-whistled me as I walked to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup and my hair scraped back. Feeling rather pleased about it, I told my best friend and my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

#20514955
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26857) - you deserved it (7595)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by club goer - Canada

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML

#20508531
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26819) - you deserved it (4649)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Lara)



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