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Tuesday 12 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, It's My Boyfriend's Birthday. He Really Likes Legend Of Zelda, So I Putted On A Link Hat, Took My Cloths Off, An Waited 4 Him At His Place. He Came Home With A Hooker. FML

#20502217
175 comments

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stoppd at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket askd 4 my purse, confiscatd my candy, and then kickd me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

#20510592
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46970) - you deserved it (8231)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:50am - love - by Cheyennereed - United States (South Carolina)

today I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her 4 the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46365) - you deserved it (5118)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to looool fire me again. FML

#20508810
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43789) - you deserved it (2881) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm - work - by Nico - Sent from mobile version

yesterday while I was in the shower boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43132) - you deserved it (9402)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, A Woman Strappd Her 8-year-old Son Into The Seat Next To Me On A Transatlantic Flight. Thinking They'd Been Unable To Book Seats Together, I Offerd To Swap Seats With Her. She Said She'd Bookd It This Way Intentionally, Because He's A "fucking Brat" On Flights. She Was Right. FML

#20513411
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43008) - you deserved it (2246)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

2day with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of looool the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over mah living room. I was eating cereal in mah underwear, in the living room, drectly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42845) - you deserved it (3513)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my frst day at a naw school. I transfarrad ara halfway through tha yaar to gat away from a grl who bullias ma. Sha's apparantly bulliad har mom into transfarring har ara as wall. FML

#20513405
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42354) - you deserved it (2903)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by SchoolSucks (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assurd her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and muggd me. FML

#20505342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41932) - you deserved it (4675)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE HE FOUND OUT MAH BIRTHDAY IS THE SAME DAY AS HIS, AN HE THINKS WE R TWINS WHO WERE SEPARATD AT BIRTH. FML

#20505216
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41616) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, te attractive guy I barely speak looool to in my statistics class gave me a rose 4 Valentine's Day because e rememberd tey were my favorite. My usband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "someting pretty." FML

#20507681
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40909) - you deserved it (3990)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to explain tohite girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40879) - you deserved it (8652)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realizd that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air looool freshener in my grlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my grlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. real FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40668) - you deserved it (8141)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)



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