Tuesday 12 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27824) - you deserved it (8245)
On 02/11/2013 at 1:17pm - kids - by juno_op (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27731) - you deserved it (6221)
On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27654) - you deserved it (2807)
On 02/12/2013 at 12:41pm - misc - by Meaghan (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27649) - you deserved it (3810)
On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (257)
On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27499) - you deserved it (3131)
On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)
Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27454) - you deserved it (2093)
On 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)
Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (5698)
On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27248) - you deserved it (1855)
On 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26824) - you deserved it (3496)
On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26795) - you deserved it (1616)
On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26645) - you deserved it (7265)
On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States
Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26336) - you deserved it (2576)
On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
