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Saturday 9 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43861) - you deserved it (3356)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

#20496769
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43397) - you deserved it (2682)

On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43357) - you deserved it (8947)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42812) - you deserved it (8400)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

#20508270
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42464) - you deserved it (9988)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

#20508072
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42292) - you deserved it (2820)

On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

#20496903
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41566) - you deserved it (3751)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:24am - misc - by GarageSallin (man) -

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39915) - you deserved it (8674)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, "Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really like knows that I don't like you." FML

#20501645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39755) - you deserved it (2403)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39257) - you deserved it (3435)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML

#20507764
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39180) - you deserved it (3908)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML

#20504485
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38969) - you deserved it (5877)

On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38607) - you deserved it (3250)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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