Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 9 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32980) - you deserved it (34637)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

#20498655
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32816) - you deserved it (2752)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

#20497093
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32741) - you deserved it (2553)

On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

#20498051
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32638) - you deserved it (2546)

On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML

#20495386
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32590) - you deserved it (3134)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by refticon (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

#20502338
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32536) - you deserved it (7677)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

#20497288
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32336) - you deserved it (2357)

On 02/07/2013 at 5:56pm - misc - by fineillpissthebedthen (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

#20503049
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32299) - you deserved it (7029)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today, I finished booking the non-refundable cruise for my wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that my mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she called back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML

#20494492
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32296) - you deserved it (2519)

On 02/05/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by vacationless - United States (West Virginia)

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

#20493991
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32282) - you deserved it (3060)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML

#20494464
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32216) - you deserved it (4068)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML

#20506599
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32091) - you deserved it (5824)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm - money - by dating a fucking psycho (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: