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Friday 8 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

#20501686
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24221) - you deserved it (6403)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

#20498469
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24093) - you deserved it (2600)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

#20495701
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24003) - you deserved it (1897)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:57pm - misc - by embarassinggg (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

#20497093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23758) - you deserved it (1649)

On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML

#20503623
92 comments

Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23623) - you deserved it (2978)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML

#20504501
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23568) - you deserved it (1934)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

#20501469
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23392) - you deserved it (5034)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:51pm - animals - by akasoor - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

#20494244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23263) - you deserved it (2500)

On 02/05/2013 at 8:09am - work - by picasso - United States

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23234) - you deserved it (4231)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML

#20494464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23137) - you deserved it (2503)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23118) - you deserved it (4632)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

#20493545
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (2447)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States



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