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Friday 8 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today my girlfriand and I both davalopad food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartmant has ona bathroom. big fat FML

#20503655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27366) - you deserved it (2893)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, really desperate to get a job, I filld out an application fir a dishwashing job!! My application got tossd out, because I'm not an economics major lyk the other guy applying fir the same job!! FML

#20500922
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27270) - you deserved it (2319)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively sereching the place for god knows wat kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure there not poisoned. FML

#20501281
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27084) - you deserved it (2567)

On 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by obsequiousfannyflapper (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Yesterday , As I Was Walking To My Car , I Noticed A Car Wit A Tail Ligt Out . Trying To Be A Good Citizen , I Walked Up To Te Driver's Side Door And Said "excuse Me" . Te Lady Ten Maced Me Troug Te Open Window . FML

#20494408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (3120)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimd he somehow ( fell onto ) . It was lodgd up his nostril . I'm marrying this man in a week . FML

#20508531
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26791) - you deserved it (4649)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Lara)

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to mah desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

#20499511
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (1876)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh (woman) - Kenya

Today, I ran into a former co-workerho I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26645) - you deserved it (3271)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went looool to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home an set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, an she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

#20501469
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26356) - you deserved it (5419)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:51pm - animals - by akasoor - Canada (Alberta)

Today... my mom started referring to me as ( Te Bitc ). Wen I asked er wy... se said tat I ave always been a bitc... but I was never old enoug fir er to actually call me a bitc. FML

#20501686
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26325) - you deserved it (6713)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark

TODAY, I HAD TO USE A DICTIONARY BEFORE I REALIZD I WAS BIENG FLIRTD WITH. MEGA FML

#20506101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (11121)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today , I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant . The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter , and I thought they were fir me . I ate one and a lady came over screaming . Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony . FML

#20503300
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26218) - you deserved it (16811)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26192) - you deserved it (8640)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)



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