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Friday 8 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

#20506625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28243) - you deserved it (3334)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28202) - you deserved it (5680)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML

#20507079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28189) - you deserved it (2960)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML

#20504501
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28100) - you deserved it (2337)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27763) - you deserved it (3201)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I arrived at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML

#20493202
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27748) - you deserved it (5338)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:47pm - money - by perfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27666) - you deserved it (3200)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

#20493545
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27527) - you deserved it (3421)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27359) - you deserved it (7951)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

#20503655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27221) - you deserved it (2880)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

#20501281
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26979) - you deserved it (2562)

On 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by obsequiousfannyflapper (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML

#20508531
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26663) - you deserved it (4638)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Lara)

Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26570) - you deserved it (3264)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)



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