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Wednesday 6 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

#20501469
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19320) - you deserved it (3770)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:51pm - animals - by akasoor - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

#20503420
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19130) - you deserved it (2403)

On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

#20495981
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18991) - you deserved it (2402)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18479) - you deserved it (3289)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18215) - you deserved it (2169)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML

#20503278
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17354) - you deserved it (1814)

On 02/12/2013 at 2:41am - health - by shots shots shots (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML

#20494713
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16902) - you deserved it (5752)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16562) - you deserved it (24264)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16442) - you deserved it (6031)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15558) - you deserved it (32336)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

#20496132
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15545) - you deserved it (3447)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by gilbirds (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15320) - you deserved it (3530)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

#20498986
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14421) - you deserved it (33692)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)



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