Tuesday 5 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26730) - you deserved it (7369)
On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to drive to my workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that my 12 hour shift is over, I can't get out of the building, as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until my next 12 hour shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26619) - you deserved it (1503)
On 02/09/2013 at 7:39am - work - by sonnyrosa (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26357) - you deserved it (1196)
On 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26226) - you deserved it (3983)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25960) - you deserved it (12116)
On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25650) - you deserved it (2802)
On 02/10/2013 at 5:41am - work - by screwed - United States
Today, I had my gallbladder removed. I have a very painful incision in my belly that makes any kind of movement excruciating. I've had the hiccups 5 times so far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25611) - you deserved it (1220)
On 02/08/2013 at 12:31am - health - by IHeartBlueJay - United States
Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25556) - you deserved it (1663)
On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25501) - you deserved it (11936)
On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25215) - you deserved it (1488)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24862) - you deserved it (2684)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24852) - you deserved it (2956)
On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24793) - you deserved it (3249)
On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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