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Sunday 3 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I spun off te road and into a ditc!! Te insurance company told me I'd ave to wait an our, as tey ad oter cars to tow frst!! I ad to pee so badly tat I resorted to using te only ting I ad in my car: a plastic bag!! Tat's wen I got a knock on my window from te tow truck driver!! mega FML

#20489830
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25843) - you deserved it (5419)

On 02/02/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by merp. (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, mother "checkd in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal phone and dumb enough to get it confiscatd. FML

#20485491
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (2403)

On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I jokingly asked mah girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package . She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight . FML

#20485057
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (37024)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in mah art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

#20494244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25444) - you deserved it (2708)

On 02/05/2013 at 8:09am - work - by picasso - United States

Today, I recieved a brthday present from a friend . It was the very same gift I gave looool to her fir Christmas . FML

#20482991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (3910)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, mah pants rippd while I was at work. I had to keep mah balls to the wall while I dodgd customers and edgd ever closer to the break room. Before I could call mah wife and ask her to bring a new pair, mah boss burst in, got pissd, and made me go back out and deal with rate customers. FML

#20487736
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (2053)

On 01/31/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by fuckit (man) - Italy (Lazio)

yesterday I was washing the dishes at work . I had to pee really bad but frst I wanted to finish the dishes . A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine . I screamed like a grl and pissed my pants . FML

#20492292
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24970) - you deserved it (5049)

On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap an decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, an I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (9191)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I was leaving fir my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (6047)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Yesterday, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24648) - you deserved it (4683)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my ouse using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (4811)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I had to leave mah ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up looool mah drunken father from his best friend's baby shower!! I pickd him up along with a bill for the damage!!

#20488845
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24562) - you deserved it (1926)

On 02/01/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by kylie18xx21 (woman) - United States

Today, te last customer of te nigt sift anded me tere money along wit a wad of tere air . FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24438) - you deserved it (2064)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States



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