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Sunday 3 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28551) - you deserved it (9108)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

#20501469
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28546) - you deserved it (5712)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:51pm - animals - by akasoor - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML

#20487736
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28434) - you deserved it (2337)

On 01/31/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by fuckit (man) - Italy (Lazio)

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28400) - you deserved it (4184)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

#20494244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28373) - you deserved it (2968)

On 02/05/2013 at 8:09am - work - by picasso - United States

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27906) - you deserved it (5066)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27898) - you deserved it (9732)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML

#20488845
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (2173)

On 02/01/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by kylie18xx21 (woman) - United States

Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML

#20492292
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27631) - you deserved it (5416)

On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

#20485057
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27595) - you deserved it (39364)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27544) - you deserved it (5136)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27136) - you deserved it (2294)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

#20486554
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26949) - you deserved it (2303)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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