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Saturday 2 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

#20494244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (2825)

On 02/05/2013 at 8:09am - work - by picasso - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

#20485057
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (38276)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (3275)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26361) - you deserved it (5005)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (8655)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a half-hour conversation with my parents about going to college. I don't know what's worse, that they were trying to talk me out of it or that they're convinced that I'm going to get knocked up and drop out by the end of my freshman year. FML

#20492659
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26160) - you deserved it (2942)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

#20485491
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25789) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (3913)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML

#20487736
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25288) - you deserved it (2055)

On 01/31/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by fuckit (man) - Italy (Lazio)

Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML

#20492292
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25054) - you deserved it (5057)

On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24868) - you deserved it (9198)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I was leaving for my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24741) - you deserved it (6057)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24726) - you deserved it (4693)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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