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Saturday 2 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20722) - you deserved it (2897)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML

#20490721
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20712) - you deserved it (1546)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20685) - you deserved it (2238)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

#20485491
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20638) - you deserved it (1681)

On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

#20492051
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20353) - you deserved it (1730)

On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

#20494244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19829) - you deserved it (1691)

On 02/05/2013 at 8:09am - work - by picasso - United States

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19778) - you deserved it (6204)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML

#20487736
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19740) - you deserved it (1278)

On 01/31/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by fuckit (man) - Italy (Lazio)

Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML

#20492292
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19672) - you deserved it (3578)

On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19533) - you deserved it (1434)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19505) - you deserved it (3435)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML

#20488845
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19432) - you deserved it (1227)

On 02/01/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by kylie18xx21 (woman) - United States

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18760) - you deserved it (6855)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)



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