Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 2 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a sower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in te sower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom cimed in wit, "No, e does it before e sowers, aven't u noticed ow e locks imself in is room?" Se was rigt on te money. mega FML

#20494355
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41623) - you deserved it (12363)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States

Today , I found out mah mother has enough toys to open a sex shop . real FML

#20499258
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41198) - you deserved it (5314)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)

TODAY, AFTER NERELY 5 MONTHS OF TRYING FIR A BABY, I FOUND OUT MAH WIFE HAS CONTINUED TO TAKE THE PILL AS IT GAVE HER A BETTER IDEA OF HER CYCLE AND THUS WHEN SHE'D BE "MOST FERTILE" . FML

#20492131
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41196) - you deserved it (4504)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

#20496769
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40572) - you deserved it (2485)

On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis . Before I knew wat was going on, she said, ( It's not the size that matters though . It's how u use it . So I guess your ok . ) FML

#20491476
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40080) - you deserved it (4883)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia

Today , after 2 weeks of not having sex , my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39893) - you deserved it (9219)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse . Bieng totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend . She said she trusts him because she loves him . They've been dating for 2 months . I've been her daughter for 25 years . looool FML

#20491987
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (2152)

On 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm - money - by :/ (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, as a firafightar, wa wara callad to assist tha ambulanca craw with lifting a dacaasad patiant out of a housa . Littla did I know, ha had baan daad insida 4 3 waaks, and was bloatad and poppad lika a watar balloon whan wa attamptad to mova him . My girlfriand mada soup 4 tha avaning maal . FML

#20488428
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (2173)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Yesterday, I came home in a really good mood, an I greetd my husband with a grin an a ( Hi, babe! ) He just mutterd, ( Why can't you just DIE? ) an continud playing his video game. FML

#20490556
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38423) - you deserved it (4967)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today... a male employee at a soe sop elpd me try on soes. Once I found a pair... I went to pay for tem. I was telling te casier about ow great of an employee e was wen se told me tere were no male employees. A guy wit a foot fetis elpd me fine soes. FML

#20489969
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38390) - you deserved it (4168)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today.. . I was at an astata sala of ma naigbor wo racantly passad . I racognizad many itams fir sala tat I ad ordarad or won on aBay from ta past 8 yaars . Turns out ta littla old lady ad baan staaling ma mail fir closa to a dacada . FML

#20496903
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37968) - you deserved it (3417)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:24am - misc - by GarageSallin (man) -

I want to my cousin's wadding. Ta groom walkad ovar wan ta two of us wara talking, took ona good look at ma, slappad ma on ta ass, an said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rosa ara, you'd ba naxt." Yaa, about tat: I'm a 16-yaar old guy. fat FML

#20485957
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36696) - you deserved it (4154)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

yesterday mah dad and his new wife got there wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36623) - you deserved it (2598)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: