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Friday 1 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25406) - you deserved it (3913)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML

#20487736
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25284) - you deserved it (2055)

On 01/31/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by fuckit (man) - Italy (Lazio)

Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML

#20492292
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (5057)

On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24863) - you deserved it (9198)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I was leaving for my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24737) - you deserved it (6057)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24724) - you deserved it (4692)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML

#20489268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24684) - you deserved it (7503)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm - health - by Awkward (man) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML

#20488845
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24645) - you deserved it (1930)

On 02/01/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by kylie18xx21 (woman) - United States

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24509) - you deserved it (2068)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

#20486554
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24482) - you deserved it (2086)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24474) - you deserved it (3332)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after having lost my phone three days ago, I paid a $150 non-refundable fee to have my phone replaced and mailed to me by Tuesday. A half hour later, I found my original phone. FML

#20491153
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24183) - you deserved it (14671)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:14am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23837) - you deserved it (35463)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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