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Friday 1 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (4336)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

#20493569
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29896) - you deserved it (6593)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29840) - you deserved it (31775)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my retail job, a woman came to my till with her purchases. After I scanned all her items, she handed me two small bags. One was filled with nickels and dimes. The other was filled with cents. Her total was $28.53. The coins amounted to $22.30. FML

#20490092
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29821) - you deserved it (2340)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:53am - work - by fuckedbyretail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to a voice-mail from my manager saying I had the day off. Excited, I made plans with my friends. A few minutes ago I got a call from my other manager yelling at me for not showing up, and the original manager revealed he had me confused with another girl. FML

#20491470
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (1822)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:22am - work - by TheBaconater - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29217) - you deserved it (3611)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

#20498655
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29185) - you deserved it (2483)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29175) - you deserved it (2928)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

#20497093
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29173) - you deserved it (2227)

On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29135) - you deserved it (3002)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

#20498051
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29112) - you deserved it (2286)

On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML

#20495386
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29088) - you deserved it (2856)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by refticon (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)



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