Friday 1 February 2013 
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Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17603) - you deserved it (1294)
On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after having lost my phone three days ago, I paid a $150 non-refundable fee to have my phone replaced and mailed to me by Tuesday. A half hour later, I found my original phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17602) - you deserved it (9662)
On 02/03/2013 at 2:14am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17080) - you deserved it (5801)
On 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16857) - you deserved it (1824)
On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16844) - you deserved it (5747)
On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16445) - you deserved it (24066)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia
Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16368) - you deserved it (6026)
On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16351) - you deserved it (24028)
On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15490) - you deserved it (3442)
On 02/06/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by gilbirds (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15260) - you deserved it (3528)
Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13274) - you deserved it (26071)
On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12219) - you deserved it (18037)
On 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm - animals - by fish killer - Canada
Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11843) - you deserved it (26687)
On 01/31/2013 at 6:34am - money - by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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