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Friday 1 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

#20485057
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23947) - you deserved it (35003)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

#20497093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23760) - you deserved it (1651)

On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

#20492051
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23654) - you deserved it (2567)

On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23631) - you deserved it (3760)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (2978)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML

#20488845
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23329) - you deserved it (1827)

On 02/01/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by kylie18xx21 (woman) - United States

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

#20494244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (2501)

On 02/05/2013 at 8:09am - work - by picasso - United States

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23241) - you deserved it (1509)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML

#20494464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23138) - you deserved it (2503)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23121) - you deserved it (4632)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

#20493545
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22948) - you deserved it (2449)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (8852)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22808) - you deserved it (4444)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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