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Wednesday 30 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28926) - you deserved it (2981)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

#20485077
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28782) - you deserved it (8030)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

#20495369
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28596) - you deserved it (1389)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:04am - love - by MyLife (woman) -

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28503) - you deserved it (3548)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28500) - you deserved it (18470)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

#20482739
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28291) - you deserved it (4698)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML

#20495386
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28182) - you deserved it (2785)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by refticon (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28159) - you deserved it (8068)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML

#20494464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28107) - you deserved it (3684)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML

#20488553
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28039) - you deserved it (1892)

On 02/01/2013 at 1:09am - animals - by Angry Mob - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27890) - you deserved it (2797)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

#20483262
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27750) - you deserved it (2243)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)



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