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Tuesday 29 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I actually considered my boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML

#20488602
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33642) - you deserved it (6063)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

#20482739
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33302) - you deserved it (6202)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

#20492128
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33031) - you deserved it (4024)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

#20487239
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32767) - you deserved it (5305)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

#20487689
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32740) - you deserved it (3268)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32715) - you deserved it (8895)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32168) - you deserved it (4563) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31731) - you deserved it (20164)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31669) - you deserved it (4103)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

#20483262
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31256) - you deserved it (2523)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31182) - you deserved it (3661)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

#20489213
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30876) - you deserved it (3538)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)



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