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Tuesday 29 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

#20492051
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20340) - you deserved it (1730)

On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

#20494244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19816) - you deserved it (1690)

On 02/05/2013 at 8:09am - work - by picasso - United States

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19765) - you deserved it (6199)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML

#20487736
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19727) - you deserved it (1278)

On 01/31/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by fuckit (man) - Italy (Lazio)

Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML

#20492292
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19659) - you deserved it (3577)

On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19526) - you deserved it (1434)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19497) - you deserved it (3435)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML

#20488845
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (1227)

On 02/01/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by kylie18xx21 (woman) - United States

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18731) - you deserved it (6853)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I was leaving for my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18690) - you deserved it (4290)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

#20485057
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18179) - you deserved it (24603)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML

#20489268
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17892) - you deserved it (5305)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm - health - by Awkward (man) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

#20486554
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17593) - you deserved it (1292)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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