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Saturday 26 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

#20475642
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44210) - you deserved it (4990)

On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML

#20474927
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43575) - you deserved it (3523)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43115) - you deserved it (10071)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42789) - you deserved it (2900)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41493) - you deserved it (9496)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41387) - you deserved it (2372)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41318) - you deserved it (3008)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

#20490556
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41276) - you deserved it (5230)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40898) - you deserved it (2631)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39328) - you deserved it (7916)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38718) - you deserved it (2543)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)



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