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Wednesday 23 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

#20477009
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (2609)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

#20479641
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you deserved it (43531)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

#20478067
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26294) - you deserved it (2170)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26010) - you deserved it (3207)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (12360)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

#20485057
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25652) - you deserved it (36945)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

#20485491
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25603) - you deserved it (2398)

On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML

#20472109
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25504) - you deserved it (5541)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

#20481856
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25389) - you deserved it (1991)

On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25251) - you deserved it (3905)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (48167)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

#20473723
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24908) - you deserved it (4137)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

#20479640
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24799) - you deserved it (3016)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm - animals - by peteswentzbass - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



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