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Wednesday 23 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... I was debatinghich hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spoutd the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels"... and giving birth is 57... so I provd that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24823) - you deserved it (8237)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap an decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, an I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (9191)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

yastarday I was chatting with mah choir laadar. I told him that I hava baan thinking about taking singing lassons. His immadiata raaction was, "Thank god, finally!" FML

#20474677
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24535) - you deserved it (6082)

On 01/23/2013 at 10:44am - misc - by sdd (woman) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, te last customer of te nigt sift anded me tere money along wit a wad of tere air . FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24438) - you deserved it (2064)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today I spent most of mah daughter's 8th brthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was putted in a cast. Apparently mah son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on there 8th brthday before encouraging her to fine out by jumping off the slippery slide. mega FML

#20486554
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24402) - you deserved it (2083)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

2day I realised that mah friend hasn't spoken to me fir a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using mah star-sign to explain mah behaviour. big fat FML

#20476356
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23208) - you deserved it (4281)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

YESTERDAY MAH BOYFRIEND CAME OVER FIR A FAMILY BRUNCH , DURINGHICH HE TOLD MAH MOTHER , IN VIVID DETAIL , HOW HE GETS THE SHITSHENEVER HE EATS KALE CHIPS. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22777) - you deserved it (2709)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I Was Telling My Boyfriend How Proud I Am Of Him Fir Finding A Really Good Job. He Interrupted Me To Tell Me That My Breath Smelled Like His Cat's. Mega FML

#20484067
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21939) - you deserved it (7975)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flrting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the grl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in yur case, it's a big no." fat FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (41085)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

TODAY, I DECIDED TO CHANGE MY HAIR COLOR. AFTER WAITING IN ANTICIPATION, I TOOK A SHOWER TO RINSE OUT THE DYE AND REVEAL MY NEW, BLUE HAIR. RINSING REVEALED NOT ONLY BLUE HAIR, BUT BLUE SKIN CAUSED BY THE WATERED DYE RUNNING OVER MY BODY. I NOW LOOK LIKE A SMURF, AND IT'S NOT COMING OUT. FML

#20480724
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17723) - you deserved it (38281)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average . Feeling good about myself I decided to bake some cookies . After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven I realized I forgot to turn the oven on . big fat FML

#20475894
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16707) - you deserved it (29941)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, I draggd my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me . He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing . Apparently, this is his revenge . FML

#20471580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16135) - you deserved it (46454)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I lerened it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing yur phone off the balcony and sticking yur cigarette into yur pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12154) - you deserved it (55602)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)



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