Wednesday 23 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21030) - you deserved it (1686)
On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)
Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (3559)
On 01/26/2013 at 3:42am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Alaska)
Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20904) - you deserved it (2530)
Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20849) - you deserved it (1155)
On 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm - health - by shitday - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20718) - you deserved it (2896)
On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20676) - you deserved it (2238)
On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20632) - you deserved it (1680)
On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (1852)
On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20110) - you deserved it (1832)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20088) - you deserved it (3199)
On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)
Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19848) - you deserved it (4208)
On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I was chatting with my choir leader. I told him that I have been thinking about taking singing lessons. His immediate reaction was, "Thank god, finally!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19631) - you deserved it (4681)
On 01/23/2013 at 10:44am - misc - by sdd (woman) - Switzerland (Bern)
Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19532) - you deserved it (1434)
On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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