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Wednesday 23 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30388) - you deserved it (2511)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30362) - you deserved it (3472)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

#20479916
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30231) - you deserved it (3377)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30206) - you deserved it (5232)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

#20472701
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30091) - you deserved it (11583)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29966) - you deserved it (7135)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29933) - you deserved it (3532)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29558) - you deserved it (2643)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

#20475358
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29538) - you deserved it (9286)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML

#20480640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (4175)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:23am - health - by crippled shopper - United States (Illinois)

Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML

#20470602
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (2201)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:03am - work - by CollegeChef (woman) - Australia

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28932) - you deserved it (16491)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28926) - you deserved it (2981)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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