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Tuesday 22 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I jokingly asked mah girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package . She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight . FML

#20485057
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (37024)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today , I thought maybe I should go to my doctor cuz my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom , so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hipshile asking me y I'm no longer dating her son. FML

#20472109
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25597) - you deserved it (5547)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a singla bit of facial hair . Wall, at laast not on tha right sida of my faca . FML

#20481856
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (1996)

On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)

Today, I recieved a brthday present from a friend . It was the very same gift I gave looool to her fir Christmas . FML

#20482991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (3910)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

TODAY, FAALING LONALY AFTAR MAH RACANT BRAAKUP, I PUTTAD ON MAH NICAST CLOTHAS AND WANT OUT CLUBBING WITH A FAW FRIANDS. I BROUGHT A GUY BACK TO MAH PLACA, AND WA GOT INTIMATA. IT WAS GOING WALL, UNTIL HA TOOK OFF MAH PUSH-UP BRA, THAN PANICKAD AND DRUNKANLY ASKAD, "WHARA'D THAY GO?!" FML

#20477055
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (48273)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

TODAY , MY ROOMMATE AN I NOTICD A FOUL SMELL IN OUR APARTMENT. AFTER LOOKING AROUND 4 A LITTLEHILE , I FOUND THAT HER CAT HAD POOPD ON A PAIR OF MY JEANS , AN APPARENTLY TRID TO COVER IT UP BY DRAGGING A SHIRT OVER THE MESS. FML

#20479640
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (3024)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm - animals - by peteswentzbass - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-brth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", an giving brth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24823) - you deserved it (8237)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap an decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, an I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (9191)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today , I was chatting with mah choir leader. I told him that I have been thinking about taking singing lessons. His immediate reaction was , "Thank god , finally!" big fat FML

#20474677
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24535) - you deserved it (6082)

On 01/23/2013 at 10:44am - misc - by sdd (woman) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, te last customer of te nigt sift anded me tere money along wit a wad of tere air . FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24438) - you deserved it (2064)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

2day I realised that mah friend hasn't spoken to me fir a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using mah star-sign to explain mah behaviour. big fat FML

#20476356
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23208) - you deserved it (4281)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

YESTERDAY MAH BOYFRIEND CAME OVER FIR A FAMILY BRUNCH , DURINGHICH HE TOLD MAH MOTHER , IN VIVID DETAIL , HOW HE GETS THE SHITSHENEVER HE EATS KALE CHIPS. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22777) - you deserved it (2709)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I Was Telling My Boyfriend How Proud I Am Of Him Fir Finding A Really Good Job. He Interrupted Me To Tell Me That My Breath Smelled Like His Cat's. Mega FML

#20484067
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21939) - you deserved it (7975)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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