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Tuesday 22 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42193) - you deserved it (4302)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41016) - you deserved it (2771)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40882) - you deserved it (2968)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39273) - you deserved it (7908)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38659) - you deserved it (2540)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38269) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37536) - you deserved it (5454)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years old. FML

#20474414
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36480) - you deserved it (3708)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

#20482739
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35527) - you deserved it (6457)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35364) - you deserved it (3866)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

#20478441
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35298) - you deserved it (2914)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35226) - you deserved it (5958)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico



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