Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 20 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML

#20481589
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34767) - you deserved it (2269)

On 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm - health - by fucking teen cunts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34632) - you deserved it (3359)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34576) - you deserved it (2326)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML

#20479103
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34168) - you deserved it (2141)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34074) - you deserved it (3000)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

#20469230
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33912) - you deserved it (4785)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (7861)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33476) - you deserved it (4722)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33372) - you deserved it (5396)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33092) - you deserved it (3176)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32831) - you deserved it (2917)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32825) - you deserved it (3384)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: