Sunday 20 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47651) - you deserved it (4450)
On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40537) - you deserved it (2332)
On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39761) - you deserved it (4976)
On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39592) - you deserved it (2930)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37247) - you deserved it (3537)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37099) - you deserved it (3840)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36901) - you deserved it (6129)
On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36409) - you deserved it (3149)
On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)
Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36208) - you deserved it (1504)
On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35490) - you deserved it (3571)
On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34680) - you deserved it (3777)
Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34303) - you deserved it (2279)
On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34282) - you deserved it (5410)
On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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