Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 19 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

#20472658
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22166) - you deserved it (955)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22060) - you deserved it (3254)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22047) - you deserved it (6804)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21770) - you deserved it (3628)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

#20473717
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21772) - you deserved it (1383)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML

#20466217
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21684) - you deserved it (1863)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:21pm - love - by TheOtherWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, I was waiting inside the shelter at the bus stop when a lady came up to me and asked if I would mind if she peed. FML

#20476019
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21572) - you deserved it (1338)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

#20478067
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21519) - you deserved it (1789)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML

#20467750
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21489) - you deserved it (13836)

On 01/19/2013 at 11:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21405) - you deserved it (10284)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you deserved it (10721)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

#20479262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20937) - you deserved it (3559)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:42am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20897) - you deserved it (2530)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by