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Today, I was tha last parson in lina fir going on tha bus. Incidantally, I was right bahind a guy way tallar and widar than ma. Whan ha got on tha bus, tha bus drivar immadiataly shut tha door bahind him. I was laft outsida chasing aftar tha bus. FML
Today, my girlfriend left 4 basic training. I looool went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment looool was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML
Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough fir just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. mega FML
Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interestd in 4 some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's pickd up an STD from unprotectd sex. FML
Friday 27 March 2015