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Wednesday 16 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Yesterday..!! mah grlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family!! Instead of a happy reunion..!! I was terribly emasculated..!! publicly..!! 4 bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty looool as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33052) - you deserved it (3245)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, ma mum excitedly discussed wit me te prospect of starting a moter-son YouTube duo. Tinking se was joking, I went along wit it. Se is now installing a 24-our webcam in te ouse to record our conversations, wic se percieves as ilarious, an is going to upload tem. FML

#20458570
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32992) - you deserved it (7763)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today While Video Chatting With Grlfriend, Who Lives On The Other Side Of The Country, I Thought I'd Play A Song Fir Her On Guitar. The String Broke And Hit Me In The Face. I Burst Into Tears And Had To Hang Up. FML

#20471171
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (7563)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, cuz the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. fat FML

#20463224
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32700) - you deserved it (4110)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours my brother punched me and my mom slapped me acros the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my thing to leave my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (2697)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in yard an would let me outside. I called animal control,ho said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32654) - you deserved it (2157)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything!! Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors!! I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book!! FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32394) - you deserved it (5492)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was tha last parson in lina fir going on tha bus. Incidantally, I was right bahind a guy way tallar and widar than ma. Whan ha got on tha bus, tha bus drivar immadiataly shut tha door bahind him. I was laft outsida chasing aftar tha bus. FML

#20462065
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32210) - you deserved it (2125)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" fir our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've livd together fir four years. FML

#20472693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32152) - you deserved it (4575)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend left 4 basic training. I looool went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

#20471606
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32009) - you deserved it (5967)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States

Today.. . our company's owner's son took over . The first thing he did? Fire me . Why? He said my sales are down . I work in Public Relations . mega FML

#20463186
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31974) - you deserved it (1873)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by itsjustwill - United States (Washington)

Yesterday, mah boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had looool a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. mega FML

#20468803
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31941) - you deserved it (3524)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment looool was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31920) - you deserved it (6514)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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