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Wednesday 16 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

#20473074
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (2541)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24946) - you deserved it (3623)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (3877)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24661) - you deserved it (10450)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

#20472701
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (8224)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I needed to get a hair cut, so my boyfriend recommended I see his mother, who is a trained and licensed hairdresser. Despite the fact that she hates me, I thought she would be mature and do it nice. She butchered my hair like a toddler does their Barbie, and insists that it "suits me". FML

#20474272
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24593) - you deserved it (7611)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by parmetries - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

#20463067
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24503) - you deserved it (1509)

On 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Kallian - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24376) - you deserved it (2293)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24041) - you deserved it (8109)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML

#20471583
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (1580) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm - misc - by normal - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23755) - you deserved it (4016)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I took a taxi ride with my friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out my friend had already paid. FML

#20475292
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23747) - you deserved it (6125)

On 01/23/2013 at 6:33pm - money - by stevenr579 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

#20469761
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23651) - you deserved it (5493)

On 01/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by megean c.l. (woman) - United States



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