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Wednesday 16 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33716) - you deserved it (3626)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

#20458971
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33559) - you deserved it (6451)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by nkotz - United States

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33395) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33371) - you deserved it (3606)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years old. FML

#20474414
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33299) - you deserved it (3430)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

#20461178
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32321) - you deserved it (2309)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31877) - you deserved it (3711)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

#20469230
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31872) - you deserved it (4575)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31728) - you deserved it (2099)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

#20468803
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31353) - you deserved it (3485)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31334) - you deserved it (3113)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31322) - you deserved it (9157)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)



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