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Tuesday 15 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

#20462282
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22299) - you deserved it (2464)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (1881)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

#20465041
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (1585)

On 01/17/2013 at 7:39pm - misc - by FMyThroat (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

#20472658
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22173) - you deserved it (955)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (3255)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22053) - you deserved it (6805)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21775) - you deserved it (3628)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

#20473717
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (1383)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML

#20466217
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21689) - you deserved it (1863)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:21pm - love - by TheOtherWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML

#20467750
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21495) - you deserved it (13838)

On 01/19/2013 at 11:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21406) - you deserved it (10286)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20907) - you deserved it (2530)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML

#20469543
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20414) - you deserved it (4878)

On 01/20/2013 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)



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