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Tuesday 15 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30620) - you deserved it (3196)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

#20460414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30534) - you deserved it (4709)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML

Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

#20471606
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30345) - you deserved it (5785)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (14485)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30078) - you deserved it (4916)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML

#20464662
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (2577)

On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29820) - you deserved it (2602)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29620) - you deserved it (9239)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML

#20468290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29597) - you deserved it (6493)

On 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (3301)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29239) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)



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