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Tuesday 15 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (3579)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31525) - you deserved it (9558)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31494) - you deserved it (5392)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31321) - you deserved it (3293)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML

#20470602
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31140) - you deserved it (2389)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:03am - work - by CollegeChef (woman) - Australia

Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31019) - you deserved it (3553)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30746) - you deserved it (3415)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML

#20464662
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30691) - you deserved it (2631)

On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

#20470370
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30639) - you deserved it (5343)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30471) - you deserved it (2573)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

#20459473
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30393) - you deserved it (3158)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)



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