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Tuesday 15 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31798) - you deserved it (3248)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31599) - you deserved it (3583)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31587) - you deserved it (9570)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31551) - you deserved it (5397)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31380) - you deserved it (3299)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31264) - you deserved it (3575)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML

#20470602
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31201) - you deserved it (2391)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:03am - work - by CollegeChef (woman) - Australia

Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML

Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML

#20471583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30875) - you deserved it (2498) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm - misc - by normal - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30793) - you deserved it (3420)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML

#20464662
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30754) - you deserved it (2635)

On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

#20470370
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30699) - you deserved it (5354)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my parents have kept their bet going about not turning the heat on all season. I woke up this morning to it being the same temperature inside as it was outside. It's snowing out there. FML

#20470349
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30665) - you deserved it (2111)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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