Sunday 13 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (3454)
On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (2372)
On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)
Today, our company's owner's son took over. The first thing he did? Fire me. Why? He said my sales are down. I work in Public Relations. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25350) - you deserved it (1084)
On 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by itsjustwill - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25344) - you deserved it (6427)
On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (1792)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (2290)
On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)
Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (1710)
On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (5906)
On 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (1731)
On 01/20/2013 at 7:27am - work - by musicalrose_21 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (4788)
On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24612) - you deserved it (10436)
On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24434) - you deserved it (1506)
On 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Kallian - United States
Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24377) - you deserved it (1625)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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