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Sunday 13 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40148) - you deserved it (6758)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39516) - you deserved it (7742)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39160) - you deserved it (6930)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38546) - you deserved it (5324)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38468) - you deserved it (4057)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38360) - you deserved it (3257)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

#20453308
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37444) - you deserved it (6159)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (4699)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36794) - you deserved it (2723)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them for their courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML

#20460276
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36052) - you deserved it (3511)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:23am - love - by helpme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

#20447887
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35723) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35692) - you deserved it (3740)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35602) - you deserved it (6633)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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