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Sunday 13 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encounterd, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gaggd, he smrkd and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36100) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I triad to gat my boyfriand to roll ovar whila ha was aslaap . Ha snoras loud anough to waka tha naighbors an if ha lays on his sida ha usually stops . Instaad of rolling ovar, ha stuck his lag in tha air, fartad twica, an laughad about it in his slaap . Ha's still snoring . FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (5181)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work looool at a middle school. I've worked here 4 the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough 4 my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35888) - you deserved it (2780)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

I hald a door opan for a swaat old lady with a walkar. Aftar sha want through tha door , sha turnd an said , "That's not how you'ra gonna gat into mah pants , son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (3708)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

TODAY , MARKS THE SIXTH DAY IN A ROW THAT MUM HAS CALLED ME TO DISCUSS UPCOMING WEDDING. SHE'S OBSESSED AND HAS INTIMIDATED THE ACTUAL PLANNER I HIRED INTO GOING ALONG WITH HER PLANS. SHE'S SLIPPED UP TWICE ALREADY AND ACCIDENTALLY REFERRED TO IT AS HER OWN WEDDING. JUST GREAT. MEGA FML

#20453938
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35589) - you deserved it (3694)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, as per usual, mah mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret"!! Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret!! FML

#20457387
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35549) - you deserved it (2369)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia

Today, while making dinner I cut mah finger badly with a knife. When I yelled 4 mah dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste mah blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (3098)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today... I found out that my dad... thinking it was an advertisement... threw away a letter from the college I applied to. FML

#20454916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35331) - you deserved it (2387)

On 01/12/2013 at 4:52am - misc - by gdog10122 - United States

my mothar cummd back from har trip to Vagas. Har braast wara obviously 2 lattar sizas largar. I askd if sha got a boob job and sha danid it , saying that it's against har raligion. Sha's an athaist , and a liar. FML

#20460160
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35313) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Yesterday, a girl I follow on looool Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34970) - you deserved it (3735)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realizd tat I'm so depressd tat I can't even watc porn witout getting upset about ow I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34816) - you deserved it (9769)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ad to explain to usband tat te 5-second looool rule doesn't apply if u drop te floss into te toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34553) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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