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Saturday 12 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, management told me that I couldn't looool have a doorbell on my door . How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell . FML

#20462282
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27138) - you deserved it (2869)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, Mah Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I'm Too "high Maintenance". And That's Because I Ask Him To Use Condoms When We Have Sex, An I Refuse To Invite Mah Friends Over Fir Threesomes. I Don't Know Why I'm Not Actually Glad We Are Broken Up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (5311)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26980) - you deserved it (8923)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today , I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26726) - you deserved it (6015)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, after recently breaking up with boyfriend, I unknowingly washed laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells lyk ex. FML

#20467750
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26707) - you deserved it (15718)

On 01/19/2013 at 11:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today I got ome only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming te freezing streets calling is name I returned to fine im stuck beind te couc wit my cewed-up new soes in is muzzle. real FML

#20447616
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (5844)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, wife has the flu,hile I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as toho's more contagious andho should take care of her as to get her sick. Yay fir the entre day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. big fat FML

#20448554
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26454) - you deserved it (2335)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)

Yesterday, te grl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking wit er. "Just te two of us," se said. I ad to turn er down cuz I'm 17 yeres old and never lerened ow to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26391) - you deserved it (35470)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, mah mom wishd me "Happy Conception Day." real FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was walking mah dog when he decidd that he was too lazy to continue walking!! It endd looool up with me looking lyk a crazy dog lady carrying mah medium-sizd dog home!! FML

#20448490
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (4627)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

TODAY, MAH ROOMMATE CAME BACK DRUNK FROM RUSHING FRATERNITIES. NORMALLY I WOULDN'T HAVE MINDED, HAD HE NOT IMMEDIATELY PISSED AND THROWN UP EVERYWHERE AFTER ENTERING THE ROOM. IF ONLY I HAD MOVED MAH GUITAR AND THE SUITCASE FULL OF CLOTHE I HAD LEFT OUT AFTER RETURNING FROM BREAK. FML

Today, aftar a vary aartfalt convarsation wit ma motar, I promisad ar tat I'd quit smoking. I walkad in on ar smoking ma cigarattas an our latar. Har axcusa was tat sa didn't want ma monay to ava gona to wasta. maga FML

#20468389
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25554) - you deserved it (3563)

On 01/19/2013 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into mah shop requesting alcohol,hich I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor.

#20445898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24405) - you deserved it (1980)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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