Friday 11 January 2013 
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Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (5714)
On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22050) - you deserved it (3254)
On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21907) - you deserved it (6545)
On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21769) - you deserved it (3628)
On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21679) - you deserved it (1863)
On 01/18/2013 at 12:21pm - love - by TheOtherWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (3351)
On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21427) - you deserved it (3904)
On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21402) - you deserved it (10282)
On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland
Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21353) - you deserved it (4384)
On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21315) - you deserved it (3351)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21255) - you deserved it (5153)
On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21179) - you deserved it (1942)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States
Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20816) - you deserved it (1644)
On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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