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Thursday 10 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21257) - you deserved it (5153)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21190) - you deserved it (1942)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20821) - you deserved it (1644)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my roommate came back drunk from rushing fraternities. Normally I wouldn't have minded, had he not immediately pissed and thrown up everywhere after entering the room. If only I had moved my guitar and the suitcase full of clothes I had left out after returning from break. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20513) - you deserved it (3709)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20373) - you deserved it (24951)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

#20456501
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20000) - you deserved it (7823)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19861) - you deserved it (3396)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

#20448091
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19519) - you deserved it (55285)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (1590)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

#20455938
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18750) - you deserved it (2182)

On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18386) - you deserved it (7091)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

#20446465
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18244) - you deserved it (6465)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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