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Thursday 10 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22437) - you deserved it (2441)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (1682)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

#20462282
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22298) - you deserved it (2464)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (1881)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

#20456567
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22221) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/13/2013 at 2:24am - love - by LilRedRiding_27 - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

#20465041
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22206) - you deserved it (1585)

On 01/17/2013 at 7:39pm - misc - by FMyThroat (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22193) - you deserved it (5715)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (6545)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21775) - you deserved it (3628)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

#20455481
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21435) - you deserved it (3905)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

#20447616
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (4384)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

#20446338
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21338) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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