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Thursday 10 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28714) - you deserved it (2679)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28646) - you deserved it (8802)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28368) - you deserved it (7434)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28355) - you deserved it (5836)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, due to technical problems, I had to call the company's IT-support as my computer went totally haywire. I explained via phone that I couldn't access anything. The support then tried contacting me by e-mail and got upset with me when I didn't answer. FML

#20463766
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28204) - you deserved it (2005)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:03am - work - by Beva (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28086) - you deserved it (7561)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (3353)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

#20455481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (4578)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27378) - you deserved it (2852)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

#20465041
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27292) - you deserved it (2433)

On 01/17/2013 at 7:39pm - misc - by FMyThroat (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

#20462282
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (2869)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27151) - you deserved it (5314)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26746) - you deserved it (6017)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States



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