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Thursday 10 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42276) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

#20464240
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41802) - you deserved it (5179)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40982) - you deserved it (4273)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40480) - you deserved it (3409)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

#20453308
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39652) - you deserved it (6399)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

#20456391
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39577) - you deserved it (4639)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML

#20453750
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39315) - you deserved it (2764)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39255) - you deserved it (5393)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

#20447887
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38799) - you deserved it (3094)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

#20453200
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38715) - you deserved it (2549)

On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38546) - you deserved it (4822)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

#20450521
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38384) - you deserved it (5789)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them for their courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML

#20460276
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38357) - you deserved it (3701)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:23am - love - by helpme (woman) - United States (California)



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